Africa, Black History, money, paradigm shift, Purposely Living

Black Love

The best way to celebrate love is to reinvest in yourself and your community. You will only reap what you sow.

Affirmations, Attitude, Goals, Purposely Living, success

Be Stil But Be INSPIRED – Do Not Lose Hope!!


You can lose a job, a lost one, money, possessions but do not lose hope. If plan A does not work, amend it then reach that goal NO MATTER WHAT!

See you at the finish line



Africa, african spirit, Attitude, attraction, Purposely Living, Respecting Differences in People, significance, using the power of words wisely

Perspective – Is it all how you look at me?


Black is beautiful etsy

Maybe can be certainly

Cannot can be can

Weak can be strong

Incapable can be capable

Disadvantage can be advantage

Black is black and beautiful and certain, which means I can be black and strong and capable with an advantage just because I’m black every day means I am positive and filled with possibilities.

Race card

It’s all how I look at me, not how you look at me. My perspective is everything because my possibilities are endless.

Black is beautiful quotes

”The secret to attraction is to love yourself” – Deepak Chopra

Attitude, balance, Purposely Living, significance, using silence to restore balance

Silence is restorative

I’ve found this to be a very powerful truth.

I can talk and talk and find no healing, nor resolution, but as soon as I shut my mouth, open my mind and keep my heart reasonable ( mind you, I didn’t say … pure because honestly who has a pure heart? Let’s be real).

Good against evil

We try to be as pure as we can by balancing good against evil, and that’s the best place to be in the balance where you are trying. I am scared to death of the extremes. They both create chaos in this world.

I am writing to release the tension I’ve accumulated over the last several day. Tough and heightened tensions I don’t usually experience, especially Seems like I’ve not been able to find simple solutions to any one problem I’m currently addressing. Saving grace is my positive perseverance and attitude.

So I find the positive my immersing myself into complete silence sometimes for hours. No radio, music, other voices, magazines, books, and my computer or phone.

I seek answers in silence along with peace for my own wellbeing. Without my peace I am not myself so I seek restorative silence.


Affirmations, Attitude, happiness, Influencer, self talk, Sustainable Happiness, Worthy

Sustainable Happiness

Sustainable Happiness


I’m in the subway 12.28.18 6:48 am looking at this poster about sustainable happiness and my brain is all over. What’s that?

The ad talks about jobs come and go physical beauty fades, market rise and fall. Even close relationships can end but the benefits of philosophy last a lifetime. This is all part of

I can agree with all of this and add that sustainable happiness is about finding ways to manage something. What is that something? Your worth!

So what is sustainable happiness but worth in your self!

If you don’t find worth in yourself you are doomed to making the same mistakes over and over again. You have to VALUE yourself against all the issues.

What mama or papa may or may not have said, the negativities imposed on you as a child or teenager or even as an adult you have to turn it off and say enough is enough.

You are enough and you are worthy

This morning 12:48 am. I come across this video by Tyler Perry on Joel Osteen’s on IG

Tyler Perry on Joel Osteen – Aim for Worthy

Analyze what worthy means. Look at yourself in the mirror. Make faces if you must. I do. Sleep, eat, rest and keep your temple healthy and enjoy me time. Enjoy the company of others on your time and find the things you enjoy. Not what anyone defines for you.

What you talking about ?


affirmative action, Africa, african Beauty Standards, Changing lives, making a difference, Influencer, money, paradigm shift, stereotypes

African Beauty standards

African Beauty standards

Edits Elba by David Simon Times 100
Challe Brownes blog
Samuel Jackson
Avionne Mark Ms. Trinidad & Tobago 2012 Ms. Universe
Bachelor Montano Hot 97.1
As Africans it has been difficult finding and especially seeing consistent, positive images of Africans in any form of media.
Black Madonna & Child Pinterest

If images are shown they are usually watered down to have a feature somewhat representative but never an authentic African. Usually very Eurocentric rather than Afrocentric.

Adapting to the Eurocentric

Secondly, the positive images of African women and men are downplayed, instead more negative images of gangsters, prostitutes, drug dealers and loud obnoxious people and let’s not forget the buffoons, who are typically cast via media, even within our own circles they have become acceptable as a norm unfortunately.

Beautiful African woman in turban

Christi African Man

The reasons it has become a norm is simple. It was made acceptable and attractive in all the entertainment venues as easy way to to make quick money, and lots of it. Comedy, TV Sitcoms , and even theatre has now become acceptable broadly by everyone.

Lorenzo Knight African Woman

The stereotypes are so powerful the regular man on the street is convinced everyone african represents one or the other of the negative caricature I mentioned earlier.


Our communities are represented as violent and not good places to raise children or families. Homes are undervalued and businesses come only to take the money we spend, but they do not reinvest due to real estate value and “ghetto” looking areas.

Black Wall Street

Our beauty standards are the same as any other community but no one wants us to magnify and raise ourselves up. When we try, we are systematically dragged back into place. This is evident every day by the shameful acts of violence against us daily by some law enforcement and even regular people on the street who would usually wear hoods and masks to do their dirty deeds, but have now become more brazen in their acts by calling the police on African persons perceived to be in an environ not “normal” for African persons like a park, the beach playing volleyball, a college campus, OR imagine this…in front of a building waiting for an Uber.

Beaching while black

What does all of this has to do with beauty? Well think about it. Most non Africans display themselves or depict themselves in media as angelic, beautiful, serene, soft spoken, articulate , business like etc. and they are oftentimes treated as how they are depicted, whether or not it’s who they actually are. This is very deceptive marketing.

Blacks and whites see racism very differently

But no matter how an African person is cast , he nor she cannot escape the stereotypes. Not on the job, not in media, and certainly not in real life.

Raquel Gates

So where do we go from here? We collectively have to refuse those roles which continue to stereotype us. Demand more Africans in magazines and in modeling by spending our dollars responsibly. I say we because it has to begin with us. We can’t expect anyone to do it for us. Look at us 400-500 years later. Be honest…what has changed? Where is our infrastructure? Where are our financial institution, our schools and our organizations?

African American history

Everyone else has theirs. We do not. Everyone else seems to function well within their own sets of rules and norms but as soon as we try to do the same we get reverse racism thrown as a wrench at us.

Affirmative Action

We get the Bible thrown at us, and we get embroiled in political shenanigans which has nothing to do with us because nothing politicians do benefits Afro communities.

Is religion used as an opium to the people or as useful means of domination for politicians? -

We can only change our outlook, including our images and beauty standard by looking within ourselves.

We have to love ourselves and each other.

VillageTalk BY Caribguhl





Like, comment and/or share if you enjoyed my perspectives.💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Achievement, Wordpress, anniversary, Africa, african in the diaspora, african spirit, african unity, Influencer, paradigm shift

African Spirit

African Spirit

I know for many this conversation MAY not be what you expect , so here goes. Please note, I am not afraid to have a healthy , honest, progressive discourse as long as you are respectful and willing to actually discourse. This conversation is about uplifting Africans in the diaspora and creating positive movements and change, not about bashing anyone else.

I’ve stated on numerous occasions that each person is absolutely entitled to their own set of belief systems. So I exercise mine and expect everyone else to exercise theirs.

When we date or marry a man or woman of another race we say whatever or that’s his/her business. But as soon as he/ she dates or marry another brother/sister dark skin or light skin we throw shade and ask why you choose THAT kind of man/woman? Something special about him/her? You hating on your own skin shade?

Django unchained

Well my friends that’s self hate. Regardless of the complexions.. you are black, they are black and we all belong to the same African race of people.

We have been conditioned to fight against each other for a purpose. The only way to dominate or keep us enslaved was to first divide us then conquer our minds, bodies and spirit.

Escaping slavery

This is no small feat in lieu of the african spirit. We are Warrior Kings and Queens who know our rightful place and destiny. The destiny which has been ripped, raped, brutalized and enslaved meaning to kill our survival instinctive spirit.

But it has failed. We are still here..thriving by a string, now we have to wake up to the reality of our meager existence and act.

The spirit of oneness with the earth and respect for the divine within each of us is a complete mystery to many of us present day.

African Spirituality

But if you are fortunate enough to spend time studying and pursuing history and your culture you would realize how much you’ve lost and how much has been stolen and recycled in other ways that you don’t even recognize it anymore as your original belief, culture, etc.

Culture bandits

Next step is for us to reunite as brothers and sisters and finally reestablish our financial foothold.

Black Unity Matters

Two very important steps to rebuilding the African empire. Don’t be afraid to feel it, say it nor express it by living a more abundant , original and fruitful life. It’s your birthright.

A few Interesting feedback prior to posting on

“Part of the reasons why us as black people may comment on another black person marrying a ‘brother or sister’ is sometimes to do with the quality or lack of it in that person. Also this notion that because some of our ancestors were Kings and Queens does not automatically infer that right to us and why we peddle this stuff I just don’t understand.. be proud of you as a individual and then if you feel it works for you to align yourself to your race in regards to the history then go for it but stop inflating people’s sense of self/ego when they often can’t get the fundamental basic aspects of being a Decent mentally healthy Human Being! The more we tell ourselves that swallowing this stuff will make everything right is naive thinking.. I could go on and on… We have to stop lowering our standards of what is acceptable in society and raise our mental emotional and spiritual selves and truly work for the whole of our so called people.. Too often the black people who have the opportunity to really serve their ‘people’ do nothing of the sort and bring their ignorant greedy dark energy to deal with other people’s lives and this is still going on all over the world.. I applaud every black man woman and child who is trying to be real honest loving (I have no time for hatred of other races as that energy keeps you stuck) and trying to do the best they can in this very troubled world…

This is my own private opinion and not for public viewing as I don’t have any inclination to discuss this with the dreadful level of poor mental health which is very evident on social media.. I have better uses of my time.. Peace.. 😇”


“I couldn’t agree with you more. There have always been attacks on the black community in regards to being fruitful amongst each other. The definition of Self destructive behaviors is any behavior that negatively impacts our mind or body by the life choices we make. Negative meme’s and subconsciously racist post have become viral within our community and it has warped mentalities across the world. The time has come back to take back our mind, body and soul. and continue creating greatness.”

Jeremy B.

“I think it is a very powerful piece. Self love is something individually we have to work on… Love for each other will manifest as a result. Unity is our strength.

I have to read it a 2nd time…

Self love at a soul level… Not the ego level. That doesn’t manifest the result we need.”


“Critical feedback, lawd..! madam in reference to this topic, I would not have much to contribute especially after I got lablashed for commentative statements on a portion of Serena Williams life story leading to her present.

In TT a case of soft drinks.

It started off from her some press thing where she was speaking about those people who fight her down verbally and otherwise blah blah, I mentioned and still you’re with a white guy… and all hell came at me.”

Lincoln R.

VillageTalk BY Caribguhl





Like, comment and/or share if you enjoyed my perspectives.💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

An interestIng read about race in America…

Link to info on book
Attitude, Attribute of a Ruler, change, Discipline, Influencer, Maturity

Positive Change

You are the key

If you desire something, only you and effect the process of achieving that something.

Photo credit click image

We tend to believe we are stuck in a place or with someone, sometimes repeated behaviors, sadly because that is what we trick ourselves into believing. We can’t see the future. We exist only in the here and now dilemma.

But, it takes one tiny step towards what may appear to be an impossibility for you to see a light, it may just be a glimmer, but if will get brighter and brighter the more you dyrp towards it.

Set daily goals to achieve so that you don’t step backwards. Even if you fall back momentarily that should be a win.

Whenever we ”fail” or fall there isusually a lesson learned that’s the win to propel you forward. Giving up is not an option.

The you in 6 months, one year, 5 years will be completely transformed.

Positive change oftentimes involves people, places and things which you have no power to change. But, you do have power over yourself.

Change yourself and the positive changes will naturally occur. Don’t be afraid to change your outlook to include people, places and things. Surprisingly they will come along once you stand your ground and implant your mission.

Either they go along or go away. Either way you keep forging forward to keep positive. Mind you, this is not about hurting others. It’s all about making a better you. Sometimes others become better too but the focus has to be you first.

VillageTalk BY Caribguhl





Like, comment and/or share if you enjoyed my perspectives.💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Attitude, Influencer, Love, Maturity, Purposely Living

Mature audience – O

Mature audience – O

We overthink so much that sometimes we miss the essence of people, places and simple things in living. The true adventure of living, loving and exploring our very existence is missed.

Images thrown at us from media tells us what we are suppose to look like and feel. But we have to be mindful of the tricks and ground ourselves in reality. Especially if we hope to have lasting and meaningful relationships.

Be present and relate
Photo credit

Sexuality is sold to us on a platter , one of tricky images which tells us we are suppose to be a certain body size or image in order to be adored, or we have to be a certain age to enjoy affection or sex.

Not so, you can be whatever and whoever, sexuality is what you make of it. I’ve even touched on it in previous posts where I explored the topic of intimacy without intercourse leading to more connection long term, rather than jumping into a physical thing which leads no where in the short term.

Ive spoken to men and women who’ve had to reinvent themselves in order to have meaningful interaction outside and inside the bedroom. Intimacy has consistently been the constant when maintaining long term relationships. Really taking time out to enjoy knowing each other rather than jumping into sex.

Women suffering from body image ranging from hair, skin, butt, breast, face, weight, you name it, it’s probably an issue for a woman you know.

Many guys talk about the inability to satisfy a woman due to the size of his penis, and comparing himself to other men based on penis size and weight of wallet., neglecting the size of his heart and weight of his love and creativity in expressing love. Some guys are conscious about body image but I see they compensate much more easily than women for various and sundry reason I won’t get into in this post.

Just understanding the complexities such that taps us into a consciousness of not allowing things out of our control to decrease our pleasure, or deter happiness, plain and simple.

Be happy. Reinvent yourself and have fun
Photo credit

I’m also not keen on delving into some of the fixes for some of our issues and problems because I feel each individual must know where they are comfortable and what is their limit. Even the professional psychiatrist or psychologist cannot help until you are ready to help yourself. By limit I mean when does the madness stop? We each have a comfort zone and we know exactly when we’ve crossed over into uncomfortable or have reach our limits. I believe we choose to ignore the warning buzzers and only realize how exaggeratory the chosen outcome is only after we’ve made the fumble. But, we live and learn. Hopefully not to keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again?

Hey to happiness?  Enjoy being you.
Photo credit

I started writing about orgasms believe it or not…but got inspired by other relevant inspirations. While orgasms are really great, they aren’t the end all fix for life. Just imagine never having one or being capable of having one again…what’s next? Exactly. Life goes on, and takes a turn for the exceptional. Exceptional you say? Yes exceptional. You become transformed and renewed. Your life now takes on new meaning. Hopefully positive, positive, positive vibrations. I can only hope and pray for your sake and the onlooking world around you.

Photo credit

So, When? When are we ever just going to be happy just being ourselves ? How much are we going to change of what God has created, especially when there are minor and unrecognizable issues .

Looking into the eyes of a flawed loved one and loving them even if, and just as can be a powerful aphrodisiac . Be your most relevant, renewed and inspired self.

Influencer, Mayure Audience, sex

Mature Audience Only – Part 4 of 4 Final Fantasy

Short stick vs long stick

Okay this is a touchy one even though it shouldn’t be. Not all men are designed with a long stick. Just the same way not all women have big butts or large breasts.

Sexual HealthPhoto Credit

The performance of a man is based on his driving skills not the size of his gear stick. The driving skills are also dependent on his ability to listen, learn and realize the different weather patterns of his woman. He has to know her signs and respond to them. Likewise women have to understand sometimes a man simply wants to drive, and she has to accommodate him too.

Does Penis Size Matter Photo credit


I have to be honest here. I use to think it was great. Great aid sexually and all that crock. But here’s what I’ve figured out…it stops you from being you.

Follow my thoughts here. If you are a visual person like I am and you are engaged in video sex aka pornography then you may become dependent on images which are-not relatable.

Body image, the whole Shabang is wrong. Eventually you come to the realization and that’s usually 2 minutes after the video ends, your fantasy world just came to an abrupt end. So do yourself a favor and make yourself your own porn star. Be creative with it. Buy yourself sexy outfits in and out of the bedroom. Sexy shoes do not hurt even a tiny bit. Just love and adore your secret porn self.

It’s a moral decision only you can make. No one elsePhoto credit

Illusion versus reality

Loving African American CouplePhoto Credit

Which would you prefer as a real person? What are your perspectives now on multiple partners with many possibilities of risk factors versus a single partner with minimal to no risk factor?

The decision is yours.🙏🏽

Choose wiselyPhoto Credit

VillageTalk BY Caribguhl





Like, comment and/or share if you enjoyed my perspectives.💕💕💕💕💕💕💕. Have a great Weekend!

Changing lives, making a difference, influence for Jesus, Influencer

Friendships at the Well

If you are a heart person this will make sense💯

You thrive on mindfulness👏

Being careful with your choice of words and never doing harm💕👍🏽

When we call someone “friend”, it’s for life and we mean it.

Friends come in different sizes, shapes and color
Just be a friend photo credit

Different temperaments, conversations, outlook, does not mean pushing limits, offending if you disagree. It merely means you can agree to disagree. No arguments, no angst or feelings hurt.

There’s an old adage which says:


So many of us forget what it means to be a friend indeed. Instead you see these posters flying around social media:

What is this hocus pocus?
Photo credit

I dare say I’m not a friend if it’s a reason or season. So scratch me off that list. Obviously you are ready to find a reason, not-available during particular seasons so why worry about lifetime attachments?

I think this is overused and misused, and not appropriately applied even in the biblical sense of yoking yourself.

Jesus took it to another level in terms of meeting people at the well, and by the way…the well never ran dry. That’s the kind of friend he was.

What will Jesus Do?
Are you a friend to the Samaritans, widows, orphans or prostitutes

I contend, that you think seriously about the people who are in your life and make quite certain you are a friend indeed, not just for a convenient reason, or seasonal because you can use them like that – or they are so desperate for an anchor, they allow you to use them like that.

Friendships are like gems..priceless. Guard them well and do not abuse them. Your differences of opinions are just egos.

Forgive and make amends
Photo credit

This goes for spouses as well. Sometimes it’s okay to let go of an argument and let that friend/spouse win.

It’s ok
Photo credit

It’s okay, you do not always need to be right nor have the last say. It’s says a lot about you, when you let things roll of your back. Give the wheel to Jesus and just be a friend/spouse indeed.

I read another blog I recently came across, last evening. It was so interesting. The author describes going to work and part of his ritual was to take extra money with him and give to the needy. He explained how one particular chap would look forward to seeing him, and he would even bring him food on occasion, gifts on his birthday / get this – for three years. It brought tears to my eyes.

I live here in NYC and while I give yes, I’ve had opportunity to do more in one particular situation and I backed out because I felt the person was trying a fast one.

I don’t know, maybe yes maybe no, the point is did it matter? As long as I did it with a willing heart.

Life lessons
Photo credit

That willingness is what God uses to change the hearts of people you and I cannot discern. I know many think they are discerning , myself including, but the human mind and heart is complex and much is hidden from us that only God sees.

So I’ll finish my tirade…the well of friends you do have try, to make good to ensure you bring them into fellowship by being a good example of friendship. Not just to bring them to church. But be there for the complications, the quiet moments when they need to not speak but need someone present.

Help save lives on earth and souls for heaven,.

VillageTalk BY Caribguhl





Like, comment and/or share if you enjoyed my perspectives.💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Controlling your adult expectations and grounding yourself in reality, Maturity, social Media

Mature Audience Only – Part 3 of 4play

Controlling the illusion

What do you do? I’m glad you asked.

Simple, go back to basics. What does that mean ? Well it’s different for each person.


Some may have to completely abstain maybe for a short duration. It may be a few months and up to a year. Find yourself. Search for your peace and purpose in being before being sexually active again.

For some it may be multiple years of abstaining and a deeper grounding for true identity search. And for a select few complete and total abstinence is the answer. It depends on your individual journey.

Photo credit

Reality vs the illusions

Now that you understand who you are as a unique individual and you should be treated thus, then you can resume sex in the knowledge that you and you partner can face each other honestly, intimately and openly about sex.


This sexual artform isn’t explored enough in lovemaking. So before jumping into sex, which Too much emphasis is put on the sexual act itself, and not enough on foreplay. Some forms of touching can be:



Body kissing

Shoulder kisses

Touching the buttocks

Genital touching


Kama Sutra unappreciated in lifePhoto credit

Sometimes your partner may know exactly how she/he wants you to touch them but it is important for you to explore and discover yourself and them, remembering It’s not a race to be won so try to be slow and steady. Enjoy the process and you are sure to please each other fully.

Game changer

Having intercourse frequently may be a game changer for many couples but infrequent sex is not abnormal either. It’s all up to you and what works. The sexual mood can be daily without the act of intercourse. It’s all about your sexual maturity, the right partner and how respectful you are to each other. If you deliberately or not have a set schedule and that works for you both, that’s all that matters. Not how others are doing t and what they are saying. Usually it’s hogwash. Just do you as a couple and be in love with yourselves.

Body image

Talking about being in love. It is important to remove negative images of yourself from your head. Find a favorite picture of yourself and keep it visible daily to remind yourself how awesome you are. If you keep positive about yourself it radiates and makes for

1. Great self confidence

2. Less dependence on outside validation and

3. Sex is better hands down.


I could have thrown in some personal examples here and there but guess what? This isn’t about me, it’s all about you and making yourself happy.

P.S. The O word

By the way, for some reason women are ashamed to say they do not have orgasms during sex. That’s probably 80% of women. I’m guessing. So why make yourself miserable ? Why lie to your partner about having one if you didn’t or don’t ? You are ruining your sex life and you are taking away a great intimate moment between you and your partner. So be upfront and transparent. If vaginal orgasm isn’t how you flow but you are awesome via the clitoris…clap your hands.

Clap those handsPhoto credit

Forget all this foolishness on the web also about spraying and watersheds. Most of the time it’s a hack. Just be you and turn off those videos. Probably cost you a pound and a crown when all you had to do was figure out you. Also investing in a good old vibrator doesn’t hurt your bank account, you or you partner. Most men love the help anyway. Just ask.

Just Saying
Doesn’t hurt to ask 🤐[[
VillageTalk BY Caribguhl





Like, comment and/or share if you enjoyed my perspectives.💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

African Folktales, Attitude, Discipline, Goals, social Media, using the power of words wisely, Words

Speak Life

Life and death

What you decide to share with anyone is entirely up to your discretion.

Just know this, not everyone has the capacity to secure your best interest. Only you have your own best interest at heart, and very possibly a small handful of heart folks.

Experience is a great teacher, in my opinion. I’ve seen how knowledge and information either positive or negative gives people a sense of power.

What they do with that power is oftentimes the interesting thing. Gossip, inform or just learn?

I present unfortunately, too many would gossip and oftentimes wrongly inform. The elect few are mindful enough to learn and use knowledge to effect change.

Web of Destruction

There is just something about tearing down others which subconsciously or consciously gives people a feeling of empowerment? Not sure if that is the right word, but it creates a destructive turbine effects which does not stop until it kills, steals or destroys.

Your web of deception can do more harm than good

Photo credit

Being mindful of people, friends, and family members…their secrets and sometimes carelessly shared information, and just information in general is important in maturity.

The power of life and death is in your hands or rather your tongue, so use it wisely and mindfully.

You do not need to tear another person down, regardless of what they’ve done to you or another. Know the forces with which you are dealing and either stay engaged or disengage. Leave it at that.

Photo credit

When you build up it creates the kind of energy in this world you oftentimes can’t see immediately, but it’s there…in the smiles on faces, new beginnings, lightness in a step, giving, hope, rewards , physical wellness, emotional and psychological outlook.

Change your outlook/perspective and change your life

Everything around you looks promising and you can cope with changes. You seek to go outdoors engage more and more with real people who are experiencing life, not synthetic dreams on social media. You are unique and purposeful, therefore you live as such, and it’s not necessary to speak negativity into anything, much less another person’s life.

VillageTalk BY Caribguhl





Photo Credit of featured Image

Discipline, Goals, Instagram, mindfulness, paradigm shift, social Media, Wisdom

Mindful Sunday


Calm phoneapp of the year

Came across this really beautiful ad in Instagram this morning and felt compelled to share…

Words of wisdom for us all to live by. To stop and ask these questions each day for the rest of our lives. Just being mindful for ourselves and others. Just think of the type of changes we can effect in this world. Happy Sunday

VillageTalk BY Caribguhl