Attainable Goals, Happy New Year, Influencer

Happy New Year 2019

Start the new year right!

  1. Be Thankful

2. Eat well

3. Keep your body in motion

Walk Boston

4. Enjoy the company of those you love. We are only here once❤️

5. Be Respectful

6. Honor your word and if you can’t be honest

7. Be mindful

8. Spend wisely

9. Enjoy Life

Dance like no one is watching

10. Rest your body as well as your mind

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Happy New Year, Influencer

We are almost there

A brand New Year is almost upon us and I am hoping, praying for balance, wisdom, strength, consistency, love, patience, kindness Respect and mindfulness for myself and everyone in 2019 and onward.

May your journey be easy.

Attitude, Influencer, Love, Maturity, Purposely Living

Mature audience – O

Mature audience – O

We overthink so much that sometimes we miss the essence of people, places and simple things in living. The true adventure of living, loving and exploring our very existence is missed.

Images thrown at us from media tells us what we are suppose to look like and feel. But we have to be mindful of the tricks and ground ourselves in reality. Especially if we hope to have lasting and meaningful relationships.

Be present and relate
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Sexuality is sold to us on a platter , one of tricky images which tells us we are suppose to be a certain body size or image in order to be adored, or we have to be a certain age to enjoy affection or sex.

Not so, you can be whatever and whoever, sexuality is what you make of it. I’ve even touched on it in previous posts where I explored the topic of intimacy without intercourse leading to more connection long term, rather than jumping into a physical thing which leads no where in the short term.

Ive spoken to men and women who’ve had to reinvent themselves in order to have meaningful interaction outside and inside the bedroom. Intimacy has consistently been the constant when maintaining long term relationships. Really taking time out to enjoy knowing each other rather than jumping into sex.

Women suffering from body image ranging from hair, skin, butt, breast, face, weight, you name it, it’s probably an issue for a woman you know.

Many guys talk about the inability to satisfy a woman due to the size of his penis, and comparing himself to other men based on penis size and weight of wallet., neglecting the size of his heart and weight of his love and creativity in expressing love. Some guys are conscious about body image but I see they compensate much more easily than women for various and sundry reason I won’t get into in this post.

Just understanding the complexities such that taps us into a consciousness of not allowing things out of our control to decrease our pleasure, or deter happiness, plain and simple.

Be happy. Reinvent yourself and have fun
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I’m also not keen on delving into some of the fixes for some of our issues and problems because I feel each individual must know where they are comfortable and what is their limit. Even the professional psychiatrist or psychologist cannot help until you are ready to help yourself. By limit I mean when does the madness stop? We each have a comfort zone and we know exactly when we’ve crossed over into uncomfortable or have reach our limits. I believe we choose to ignore the warning buzzers and only realize how exaggeratory the chosen outcome is only after we’ve made the fumble. But, we live and learn. Hopefully not to keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again?

Hey to happiness?  Enjoy being you.
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I started writing about orgasms believe it or not…but got inspired by other relevant inspirations. While orgasms are really great, they aren’t the end all fix for life. Just imagine never having one or being capable of having one again…what’s next? Exactly. Life goes on, and takes a turn for the exceptional. Exceptional you say? Yes exceptional. You become transformed and renewed. Your life now takes on new meaning. Hopefully positive, positive, positive vibrations. I can only hope and pray for your sake and the onlooking world around you.

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So, When? When are we ever just going to be happy just being ourselves ? How much are we going to change of what God has created, especially when there are minor and unrecognizable issues .

Looking into the eyes of a flawed loved one and loving them even if, and just as can be a powerful aphrodisiac . Be your most relevant, renewed and inspired self.

Influencer, Purposely Living, relationships, Respecting Differences in People, success, Wisdom

Mature Audience

Perception

We get involved in relationships oftentimes not for the right reasons:

1. Feeling empathy for the other person

2. Feeling sympathy for the other person

3. Anger from a previous relationship or rebound

4. Loneliness

5. Depression

6. Money issues

7. Abuse

It is important to go into relationships with your eyes wide open. The previous reasons only makes you trapped, susceptible, vulnerable, and unable to truly share your true self with another sensible person. It also allows for repeating of the same relationship mistakes.

It’s always best to have a good sit down and hash things out before jumping in. Clear the clutter or baggage, and talk as mature adults about expectations.

It may not feel romantic or feel goody, but it pays off long term. You are both happier and the pressure of being in a negatively charged relationship is now eliminated.

Women and men should be able to have friendships without sex. The expectations of sex should be removed and replaced with adult conversations, goals and expectations. The pressures and discomforts of sexual energy must be replaced with friendships.

This is the only way for relationships, especially in this day and age of bed buddies, to grow into meaningful relationships and not just ships passing each other casually in the night at bars, hotels, motels, clubs, etc.

We need to bring back meaning into relationships by being more perceptive and mindful.

I didn’t use morality because I feel it should be a natural behavior or thought. But I’ve realized over the years morality is relative to many. It isn’t, its constant. There’s good and there’s bad, no in betweens. Food for thought.

Food and Drugs, Health, Influencer, Living, Making Life Decisions, mindfulness

WE ARE

Have you ever looked at

  1. Trees
  2. Mountains
  3. Nature
  4. Water

Nature

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Everything in life is ordered. They are seasonal, changing constantly and redesigning themselves for survival.

You and I are the same way. There’s no removing ourselves from the dynamic. We have to go with the flow, listen to our body rhythms and actually understand what it wants us to do and follow through and keep ourselves in order.

MotionPhoto credit

Eat balanced, consume things which will enrich your cells not hurt them. Hard lesson for us to learn until we actually have one foot in the grave. But if we keep a healthy balance and keep our bodies in motion we are going to enjoy quality of life. It’s not always perfect but it will improve significantly.

We are what we eat …think about that.

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African Folktales, Attitude, Discipline, Goals, social Media, using the power of words wisely, Words

Speak Life

Life and death

What you decide to share with anyone is entirely up to your discretion.

Just know this, not everyone has the capacity to secure your best interest. Only you have your own best interest at heart, and very possibly a small handful of heart folks.

Experience is a great teacher, in my opinion. I’ve seen how knowledge and information either positive or negative gives people a sense of power.

What they do with that power is oftentimes the interesting thing. Gossip, inform or just learn?

I present unfortunately, too many would gossip and oftentimes wrongly inform. The elect few are mindful enough to learn and use knowledge to effect change.

Web of Destruction

There is just something about tearing down others which subconsciously or consciously gives people a feeling of empowerment? Not sure if that is the right word, but it creates a destructive turbine effects which does not stop until it kills, steals or destroys.

Your web of deception can do more harm than good

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Being mindful of people, friends, and family members…their secrets and sometimes carelessly shared information, and just information in general is important in maturity.

The power of life and death is in your hands or rather your tongue, so use it wisely and mindfully.

You do not need to tear another person down, regardless of what they’ve done to you or another. Know the forces with which you are dealing and either stay engaged or disengage. Leave it at that.

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When you build up it creates the kind of energy in this world you oftentimes can’t see immediately, but it’s there…in the smiles on faces, new beginnings, lightness in a step, giving, hope, rewards , physical wellness, emotional and psychological outlook.

Change your outlook/perspective and change your life

Everything around you looks promising and you can cope with changes. You seek to go outdoors engage more and more with real people who are experiencing life, not synthetic dreams on social media. You are unique and purposeful, therefore you live as such, and it’s not necessary to speak negativity into anything, much less another person’s life.

VillageTalk BY Caribguhl

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How the enterntainment industry and Music affects us Psychologically, Millenials, suicide prevention

Suicide

MAC Miller

My youngest son is hit hard by the loss of the Celebrity Rapper MAC Miller. I didn’t know him or of him but never never the less..it is a major tragedy in my eyes.

Accident or not..this was an extremely young person with a whole life ahead of him. My sincerest sympathy and regards to his family, friends and associates. May he Rest In Peace.

Hope

Too his fans and my son…this is a valuable lesson about the company you keep and what happens when someone does not take a positive outlook or approach to life. Anything is possible when dealing with personal issues. Always have someone you can reach out to who can listen, talk with you and help to balance overwhelming emotions.

Nothing is ever that bad. It’s all how you look at it.

Reach out

Be kind to yourself and remember those who will be left behind to mourn your loss.

Making Life Decisions, mindfulness, paradigm shift, philosophical concept, Purposely Living, social Media

SITUATION

Situation

I blame myself

Allowing you

To believe

It’s ok

When it isn’t

I blame myself

Conversations

Do not express

True feelings

Afraid

I blame myself

Past experiences

Repeat

Hurt

Shame

Regrets

I blame myself

Situation

Where I cannot

Express

This is not

This cannot

This will not

I choose

stop blaming myself

Choose

New situation

balance, Blog, Discipline, Fashion, Goals, Hobbies, justFab, money, referral, saving club, shoes, shopping, wisdom at work

JustFab

I’m not a big shopper, but I love nice things, especially nice shoes. As a woman I think it’s important for my feet to look JustFab so I’ve made a few investments on this awesome site so I hope you do too and use my email as your reference so I can get my 20.00 referral just for having others join up. Use my referral link JusyFab referral

JustFab Referral

JustFab referral link

Please remember to remind

It’s so important to do like I do and remind yourself each month when your boutique is happening. If you don’t need that shoe or style that month, it’s important you waive it for that month. Next month you will decide if you want to waive it again and again until you see a show or style you like, then you are charged the 39.95 fee for your shoe of choice and it is shipped.

JustFab Referral

For your boutique you are charged according to what styles you choose and elect to ship. Have fun!!!

JustFab Referral
JustFab Referral
Attitude, balance, Blog, Brooklyn, life, Living, Love, Mass transit, mindfulness, MTA, New York City, Purposely Living, suicide prevention, Support

Twenty Five Minutes

Twenty Five Minutes on a bus

Kedella met handsome on her way to work one wet September morning. Her usual commute where She was crossing the highway somewhere by Eastern Parkway and Utica Avenue where she boarded the already packed bus. She said good morning to the bus driver as a courtesy every morning.

This morning was different for some reason. He looked like his life was about to be over, so Kedella asked “are you ok Handsome? You don’t seem to be your usual chippy self this morning.”

This is how she found out her bus driver of 5 years was married, had six children and about to lose his home. All she could say was take it easy and remember the Lord does not give us more than we can bear.

He admitted he needed more than that right now because he had been holding on and holding on, nothing seemed to be changing or improving. He admitted it was tiring waking up day after day, going to work, being dog tired every day, can’t even take a vacation because the hours are necessary to deal with the financial crisis in which he found himself.

Depression may affect

The silverlining? At least this kind lady, a passenger whom he had become acquainted over the last five years. She always had a smile and a kind word. She actually stopped and took notice, recognized there was something different about him on this day.

Truthfully ? He wanted to give up, but this dear lady turned things around by her unselfish act of kindness. She didn’t offer money or sex. There was absolutely zero flirting. All she offered was her time. 25 minutes from her first stop on Utica and Eastern Parkway to her final stop at Glenwood Avenue. The ride was longer this morning due to rain and traffic. But it was just nice to know in twenty five minutes a life has been transformed.

If you only imagine someone is in need of help, be the one to throw them a lifeline. Sometimes all it takes is s few minutes of your time.

balance, Blog, culture, Discipline, Facebook, Goals, Instagram, mindfulness, NASA, Purposely Living, social Media, Support, The Imaginative Conservative, Trinidad, twitter, wisdom at work, wordpress

How Does Social Media fit into your world?

Social Media

I love social media!! Period!

The sheer ability to reach out to family, friends, long lost classmates, and even complete strangers who happen to share similar interests, over great distances, oceans, and even continents. I don’t know what advances have been made in space because I haven’t reviewed any NASA information. But, I will be soon since the very idea of being able to send instant message to space is revolutionary.

Negatives

While I know there are negatives- it can be time consuming, even disrupt interaction With real relationships in our lives. Some even spend so much time on social media, they have no real relationship. Others spend time filtering themselves so you really have no idea what’s real and what’s not.

Positives and Balance

But, it is important for me to highlight the positives and emphasize a balance can be met. Definitely!

Really? Yes, Really!!

I do not start my day with Social Media. That’s my biggest positive. When I open my eyes each day my praise and attention goes to my Higher Power…acknowledging and thanking God for my life, my love ones and all my blessings.

Secondly, I take care of myself, preparing myself for my day, getting chores done etc. if my chores aren’t done, I don’t reward myself with social media.

Thirdly, I take breaks from social media just to reboot, get perspective and just have me time. It may be a week or a few months. Depends how I feel. From time to time I may skip a couple days.

Lastly, social media isn’t all that important for me to disconnect from real people, real conversations and connections. I make a point to enjoy real life daily and not to have technology be all consuming . As Marshall McLuhan author of “Understanding Media” points out in the first chapter of his book :

Beyond what we think we are doing with technologies like smartphones, there is also the reality of what is happening to us when we use them. In short, what happens to us is the social message. This social “message” is also being sent to us at the same time as we use our devices for other purposes. We may not be initially aware of what is happening and how society is changing. But, over time, the social effects of the new technology seep, at least partially, into social awareness. Usually, this happens as older people point out to the younger ones how social habits have changed in their lifetime.

I’m a loner by nature who loves people. Abit of an oxymoron. But that’s my reality. I’m not a social person but I can be when called to be.

Caribguhl-VillageTalk

reference:

http://www.theimaginativeconservative.org/2016/08/social-message-social-media-christopher-morrissey.html

Social media Image taken from the imaginative conservative

McLuhan, Marshall. “Understanding Media”

mindfulness, Purposely Living

ConnectionS

ConnectionS

If you’ve ever lived in a village or hamlet styled community, you will immediately understand the importance of connectionS.

ConnectionS bring us together and reflects our humanity. ConnectionS demands importance of elders, children, leadership, love, and respect in the continuity of life.

Everything is cyclical so without the connectionS we are not able to perpetuate generationally the ConnectionS which bring us together and reflects our humanity. ConnectionS demands importance of elders, children, leadership, love, and respect in the continuity of life, traditions, norms, rules, laws and values.

ConnectionS creates a well balanced, intuitive and grounded community which can then flourish because they are all actively invested in their community and themselves.

Living in bigger cities our connectionS become strained, saturated and unfortunately in far too many cases, non-existent.

We begin to lose value for morality, culture and life. We observe suffering and treat it as normal. Homelessness, distress and destitution are a regular observance in our own families, community, on trains, buses and subways daily. We have become callous and only move to satiate our conscience during holidays, with acts of goodwill. But on normal days we pass the needy without a wink of an eye. We’ve lost our innate sense of connection.

My cousin VB’s contribution:
“what I will say is that back in the day community had it’s negative as well.. too rigid, people weren’t always free to speak their mind’s, perverted people went unnoticed because people trusted ‘pillars of society’ folk with their children…. So there is good and bad in old and modern society…”. Well said and valuable feedback VB. Thank you.

My Aunt Joy Herbert Headley’s contribution:

“ Boom!!!. Excellent. Connections also create accountability which is why our children are not being taught this directly or indirectly. More and more as we are living in gated communities or new housing developments, etc. where people come from all walks of life and generations who haven’t grown up together or lived in the the same neighbourhood for a long duration of time, we are losing our connectivity. It’s a silent epidemic.” Yes indeed Aunt Joy it’s a balance as we can clearly see. Thanks Aunty.

My cousin Donna Sylvester contribution: “Agreed!
and you know what?
As far as ethnic groups we have over the years … Migrated as individuals.
Chineese, Indians they move as groups and that has made it worse for us. It makes us more vulnerable and disconnected from our traditions … As a group we have done the most assimilation to other cultures.” Such wisdom. We have to hold on to our history and culture no matter what. But how do we maintain the connectionS in light of all the obstacles?

My friend Lincoln Roland:

“It’s fact! not much to add as I’ll start babbling but definitely there have been many generational re adjustments that has contributed to this worldwide form disconnect, gradually spiraling itself as far back in the earlier years, when everyone and section was seeking rights and with that in the atmosphere, an infectious over view of things that was observed as ” A MUST DO, SHOULD DO or SAY” has become the ” IF I WANT TO BECAUSE OF CHOiCE I DON’T HAVE TO” also too because there’s much more of what is known as wickedness about and misinterpretations galore incorporated with a dose of lazy; babbling too long.” Not babbling my friend but valid and valuable insight.

We have to balance between the old and the new while still ensuring safety of the next generation and acknowledge the negative impacts around us, not being oblivious. Allowing ourselves to maturate, enrich ourselves financially but keep our values regardless. Teach our children good morals by example and by whom we allow them to associate. Finally, we are a result of our ancestors. Why forget them? Why not embrace them? Learn from their good and bad and move forward with positive energy.

Let’s have an Ubuntu life…I am because we are.

Crystal Simmons

America, Attitude, balance, Black girls, Black Men, Black Women, Brooklyn, culture, Discipline, Goals, Grateful, Haiti, Health, health, vision, Joy and peace, Living, Love, Purposely Living, Support, Trinidad

There is only one me

There’s only one me

I seem to reflect on this one thought ever so often.

The first reason being, it is a fact.

There’s only one me.

Secondly, the earlier in life we begin to understand, internalize and more importantly accept this fact, so much more fall into place for us and our authenticity allows us to have peace and many things suddenly make more sense. For one, you accept all of your imperfections and you relate and communicate as you view you view yourself, as a diamond, genuine and priceless. Secondly, how others view you does not fluster you because you are you to yourself and that’s uncompromising and refreshing.

Thirdly, there is a tremendous amount of power and freedom harnessed in acceptance of oneself as you are.

Fourthly, but not the last, those around you appreciate you more because you’ve accepted yourself, are comfortable within that framework of who you are and that makes you a more enjoyable and loveable person.

After that one, genuine, authentic you…there won’t be another. The mold can only be cut once so enjoy every moment you can so you can laugh and smile at yourself with others and at the memories each day. Not the end of your days.

Attitude, balance, Blog, culture, Discipline, Goals, health, vision, Joy and peace, life, Living, Love, mindfulness, money, Perseverance, Purposely Living, Support, Uncategorized

Timeout

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Good Morning,

It’s been 8 months since I posted to my blog.  Life has had many ups and downs, and I’ve had to choose my activities carefully.  I’ve been trying to take things and life easy. I work very hard, and things haven’t been the way I would normally like them to be, but thus is life.  School has been stressful, especially with financial, and  health issues always looming.  But, I am so overcoming, and  I’m back!!!

My oldest son Augustus is still in a place of bondage literally, and fighting for his life. My prayers for him are for guidance and ordering of his steps for improved decision making and quality of life.

I became a new grandmom back in August of 2012, so now it’s official my grand daughter is now 1 year.  I just love her.

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My daughter is growing and I’m praying to God for direction in her life.  She’s such an amazing young woman, so much strength, character and an amazing gift of artistry. Let’s see how she figures it out.

My youngest son has had a few challenges but he seems to be hanging on strong.  I can’t wait to see where his mind leads him.

I moved to a temporary residence in June 2013 until I can find permanent housing, but I have a great job and I love my employer and the people with whom I work.

Joel Osteen posted the following to Facebook this morning, and I believe it:

Sometimes heaven can be silent. But in those silent times something powerful is happening deep inside. God is stretching you. You’re developing a greater confidence in Him.

This was Joel Osteen yesterday:

In spite of how you feel, in spite of what’s been passed down in your family line, every day you need to declare, “Everything about me is getting better and better.”

Having had two days off from work (Thursday & Friday) for the Jewish New Year -Rosh Hashanah, I commented on Facebook as follows:

I have two days off from work so I’m using it to take care of some necessary chores, also to get some much needed rest. I need prayer, for those prayer warriors out there (you know who you are). God knows my needs, so just pray and ask God for direction and He will let you pray appropriately for my needs.

Please enjoy your day and love the ones you are with. They may not be here tomorrow. Each day is so precious, so enjoy your life and enjoy the people in your life.

Remember words are POWERFUL!!! So, be careful of the words you allow to come out of your mouths. They can transform your life or break your life.

Don’t allow others to have power over you. Remember, you are a child of God and only you can be King or Queen of your destiny. I’m preaching to the choir now!!!! Good gracious me!!!!

Have a great day Y’all!!! Luv and kisses!!

Yesterday I had an opportunity to speak with my dear friend Keira.  Keira is the type of person you can call, and she listens and prays.   She has an interesting Non-Profit called C.O.N.N.E.C.T. Ministry in Knoxville, Tennessee.  I would love to be able to help because it involves helping people in the community connect to resources they may not necessarily find other places.  People with financial difficulty, homelessness, addictions, and sometimes despair arrive at her door, and her first approach is always prayer.  After that she tries to deal with the physical and emotional needs of the individual and their families.  Keira has other external resources she can approach to make the services she provide all encompassing, to include transportation assistance, rent, joblessness, etc.    I had the good fortune to work with her and enjoyed the experience tremendously.  In fact, the experience was life changing for me.

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PHOTO BY MICHAEL PATRICK, COPYRIGHT © 2013

Keira Wyatt, Director C.O.N.N.E.C.T Ministries. Knoxville, TN

I cannot forget my friend Caroline who has had a tremendous impact on my life as well.  She has been realizing her lifelong dream of establishing an orphanage in Ghana for orphans and widows.  She recently took a trip to Ghana and did just that.  I think she is truly awesome and I pray for her success.

ImageCaroline Quist, Director of Village of God’s Children