I was disconnected abruptly today from my source of inspiration where I’ve worked for some years. He resigned.
Words cannot describe how saddened and surprised i am to find out my Muse will no longer be coming in each morning as he usually did, quietly, introspectively with a low good morning then head down in his computer for hours on end – unless he came up for a smoke break when he remembered.
He was the person who mentored me in his own way. I don’t think he realized how much I looked to him for calm and grounding through moments of tension and chaos. He always had the answers some how and oftentimes he knew i knew the answer but he would allow me to vent then he will say resignedly “”I don’t know what the answer”” but I’m sure you are going to figure it out because that’s why we all get paid here, we figure things out!
My first couple days working I was thrown into duties and responsibilities rather quickly with no training or initiation system. The office was very small back then but everyone was closeknit.
His assistance in maneuvering the system, internal and external relationships, and his giving generously of his time was appreciated. Now we are much bigger and people aren’t connected anymore.
My muse and go to person has moved on, now everyone says…well that’s how things are!! Why do I feel such a vacuum?
So as I pondered why and I realize when things happen suddenly…without reasons you are not aware or aren’t in the loop, causing the element of surprise and sometimes displacement…this should be normal too if you have had valid human connections.
It’s ok to feel hopelessness, loss and any range of emotions, and to deal with it in a positive way to motivate yourself inward while celebrating the past. It’s like mourning. You can’t deny the loss but you can and should certainly deal with your emotions and the physical loss of someone near and dear to you.
The involuntary changes are propelling me to a new chapter of necessary change and action on my behalf which will require conscious deliberation and then a voluntary reaction for a greater good. Thus begins a great new chapter.
Be good to yourselves
VillageTalk BY Caribguhl
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